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Laid Off - Ashley Taylor

I just got a phone call from a good friend of mine telling me that her husband got laid off  of his job two weeks ago.  Two weeks ago.  I suppose that she is just now able to discuss it with anyone.  I see her almost every day and believe me, two weeks of keeping this news to yourself is a long, stressful, scary ride.  I get it.  I understand her panic.  I have been living it (forever) for over a year now. You feel as if no one else in the world can relate to you.  You feel like you can’t breathe, that your children will starve and you are so, so, so alone.

I could describe their lifestyle but it doesn’t matter.  Whether you are the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, own a vacation house in Aspen, drive a 7-Series, have children in private school or are a greeter at Wal-Mart, living in the outskirts of town, commuting via bus – it all boils down to this: your job is what puts food on the table and more than likely, others are depending on you for the food and shelter so when you get laid off, life as you know it takes a sharp turn.  Today’s unemployment rate doesn’t give you much hope of finding another job in the next few days either, so let’s throw that into the mix for extra stress.

I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be ok because I know this to be a fact.  In the grand scheme of things, it’s only money but you can’t tell this to someone who is like a deer standing in the middle of an interstate about to be mowed down by a Freightliner.  I didn’t have anyone tell me, it took months to figure it out.  It’s almost like telling your best friend that the love of her life is an asshole.  Never works, does it?  You just have to live it to understand it.

When Matt and I first started to feel the real estate crunch back in 2007 I wasn’t mentally prepared, at all.  I went many months feeling like we had failed.  Now I understand that we didn’t fail, the system changed and we “simply” needed to adjust to the new rules.  I feel sorry for my friend though because getting to that realization takes time.  She will go through a lot of self doubt, guilt and frustration before she starts to count her true blessings; the ones that matter.  At the end of the day, she will have a stronger marriage (hopefully), two healthy children and a pared down lifestyle.  There is a lot to be thankful for.

Maybe she will start running around the park instead of paying gym fees, eating leftovers instead of giving them to the dog, shopping at thrift stores for clothes and taking her loose change to the Kroger machine in exchange for dollar bills.  Eventually, just like in Who-ville, a calmness will take over and serenity will set in.  Like the Grinch she will realize that her happiness doesn’t come from a store.  Maybe, perhaps, life means a bit more.  The embarrassment of not having the Hermes Birkin bag gives way to the pride of paying $17.99 for a tote at Target.  Perhaps her family will draw names for Christmas gifts this year and her children will participate, using their chore (yes, chore!) allowance for the gifts.  Maybe she will start eating tuna fish out of a can for lunch instead of salads from Whole Foods or turn down her hot water heater to save energy.  One thing I can guarantee though, she will always be a blonde.  Come hell or high water, that cost will never be adjusted.  And that’s ok because it’s one thing to tighten the belt but a whole different story to look like it. 

In closing I leave this thought with my friend:

“There will come a time when you believe everything is finished.  That will be the beginning.”