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Houston, We Have a Problem - Paige Scott

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.”  

Over my lifetime, I have come to realize that I have good common sense.  It has gotten me far in this life and has always helped me through many situations. Common sense by definition is sound judgment not based on any specialized knowledge.

To give you some examples, I will let all of you in on some common sense conclusions drawn from various stages of my own life experiences:

-To have a true friend, you have to be a true friend (makes sense, right?)

-If you get kicked out of the church choir when you are ten years old, more than likely you cannot sing. 

-Practice makes perfect.  In other words, it is not a good idea to decide the night before talent show tryouts that you want to perform a dance (that you made up) and make a fool of yourself at the tryouts in front of the whole school.

-If you are trying to impress a boy while you are in junior high, running across the bleachers in front of him and tripping, only to crash down all the bleachers while in a back brace, probably isn’t a good way to impress him.

-If you chase after a boy all through high school and he never gives you the time of day, then he probably doesn’t like you at all. 

-If you get your driver’s license and have a wreck the very next day, perhaps you weren’t quite ready for your driver’s license.

-If you don’t study in college, you might fail and have to move back home and go to the community college until you pull your grades back up. 

-If you back your new car into a dumpster one night after having too much tequila, your parents will probably figure it out when they look at the dent and see that it really wasn’t possible for someone to have “backed into it………I promise.” 

-If you have unprotected sex, it is likely that you will get pregnant.  (And yes, Mom, I do mean as a married ADULT, so don’t freak out)!   I DO have a bunch of kids and I kept getting the comment from people, “Don’t you know what causes that?”  Well, duh, I think I have figured that out!

And most recently,

-If you eat healthy and exercise, you will lose weight.  On the other hand, if you eat half the chocolate cake, wash it down with some chardonnay and gain 2 lbs., you really can’t complain about not losing weight. 

-If you let the exterminator go because you are trying to save money, you WILL have bugs in your house (and probably very big, yucky, freaky ones.)

This is all pretty straightforward stuff, huh?  My list could go on and on, but I hope that you are beginning to see that I, Paige Scott, at 39 years old have some pretty good common sense.  So, it with great honor and pride that I bring you to my most recent experience where I was able to share some of my common sense knowledge with others.

My husband and I were at a swanky work-related dinner in Houston recently surrounded by a room full of bankers.  When you are in a room full of bankers during a recession, conversations typically are centered on topics such as “subprime mortgages,” “foreclosures,” “mortgage-backed securities,” “bailouts,” “adjustable rates,”   you know, fun topics such as these.  I just sat nodding my head politely looking like I had some sort of clue what they were talking about, or that I even cared.

When the cocktail conversation turned to the federal deficit, I decided to speak up and share some of my common sense knowledge since I had come to know something about debt over the last few months.  I cleared my throat and boldly stated, “Well, since the country has so much debt and we all could use some more money, why don’t they just make some more?”

All eyes shot over to me, and I mean ALL.  It’s as though I had spoken with a megaphone or something.  Well, I couldn’t back down now.  I had successful business people listening to my “I know how to save the federal deficit theory”, so I continued.  “You know, THEY could make some more money!”

I think I heard some snickering.  One big shot decided to actually converse with me on this topic and said, “Who are THEY and what do you mean make more money?”

Me:  “You know, wherever they actually make all the money.  The US Treasury or wherever it is that they have all the money presses.  They could just fire up the presses and print out enough money to pay off all the national debt.  And while they are at it, they could go ahead and print some out for every citizen.”

Luckily, my husband had stepped out to go to the bathroom before I decided to speak up with my “wine gives you courage” knowledge.  As he returned and saw all of his colleagues engaging in a deep conversation with me, he beamed with pride, until he got a little closer to hear the conversation.  I do believe mortified and speechless could describe his reaction.  

I was at the point in my debate with the bankers about why wasn’t this a good idea?  Did I actually understand supply and demand?  “Well, yes I did understand that.  The demand was there: we were in a BIG budget deficit and the supply was there:  we had printing presses that could just print off more money.  What do you people not get about that?  Just because you all have degrees in finance, this is just COMMON SENSE.  In fact, I think I will call my congressman………..”   

I couldn’t even get to the really good part because the dinner speaker was clanking his glass for the second time for us all to be quiet.  So I whispered aloud to my audience, “Hey, I have a fun dinner game that we can play after this guy shuts up.  It’s where we say famous quotes and we all have to guess who said it.  I’ll go first!  Who said, “Accept your genius and say what you think”?” 

You gotta love that Ralph Waldo Emerson!  (and, yes, gotta is also a slang term we use in Texas)