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I’m Ready to Vote Paris off of the Island - by guest blogger Katie Miller

Today, as I was signing into my on-line email account, I noticed a headline that I just had to click: Suit Offers Peek at Paris.  I’m thinking, hmmm, everyone else has had a peek at Paris Hilton, sans underwear, clothes and dignity, I might as well, too.  If it doesn’t get blocked by my decency filter.

When I made it to the full blown article, I realized that this wasn’t a peek at Paris, it was a peek into Paris Hilton’s pampered life.  You see, she is being sued by an investor claiming that she didn’t do enough to promote a 2006 movie called Pledge This.  Personally, I tend to agree with the unhappy investor.  I don’t think that Miss Paris did enough to promote the movie because, frankly, I’ve never heard of it.  Then again, a 40 year-old-stay-at-home-mother-of-five might not have been the film’s target demographic.

But, never mind that…the self-proclaimed ‘It-Girl’ swears that she’s a complete workaholic and did everything in her power to promote the flick.  If drinking and dancing and having your hair done are ‘everything within her power’, then I guess he’s right.

The frightening thing revealed in this article is that Miss Paris really has no idea where her money comes from or goes.  Really?  Does she have any idea that the hotels she stays in, gratis, around the world belong to her family, and that normal people have to, gasp, pay to stay there?  FYI, Paris:  the Hilton family isn’t just the host with the most; the company is actually in the hospitality business and looks at its bottom line.  And that bottom line pays for all of Paris’s perks.  When asked who gets her bills, Miss Paris answered with admirable honesty, “I don’t know.  I’m assuming, like, whoever pays my bills.  I never ask about that stuff.”

Good Lord!  You mean that Paris Hilton, dumb blonde extraordinaire, gets to trot around the globe and not ever worry about the cost of a single thing?  You have got to be kidding me.  Paris doesn’t know where her bills are for crying out loud!  Isn’t it nice that she has some schmuck sitting in an office somewhere paying all of her bills as in they roll?  Spa treatments, Manolo Blahniks, private jets, VIP suites, Prada (no Payless for Miss Paris, oh, no…), La Perla.  Or rather, there is no bill from La Perla because the whole world knows that little Miss Paris doesn’t wear underwear!  What?  In posse, her peeps that respond to every beck and call, did she forget to hire an underwear shopper somewhere down the line?  Or, are her underwear in the same gray cubicle as her bills?

All of this information about Paris’s lifestyle just ticks me off.  I think that, if I wouldn’t have seen it in black and white, it wouldn’t have made me so stinking mad.  Because we, Middle America, work so hard to pay our bills, do the right thing, keep this great country ticking, and she truly gets to live like a spoiled rotten American princess without a care in the world!  Or, am I so mad about the fact that I was responsible enough to pay my way through university to earn a degree in accounting?  So now, I could be the schmuck that pays the bills and locates the underwear of one of the most clueless and pampered dingbats on Earth?  What a horrible realization!

Normal people don’t get paid to be dumb.  In the real world, where I seem to reside, you actually get penalized for her kind of idiocy.  Please, Paris, pay off the investor his $8.3 million.  He deserves it for having to deal with you, and you won’t even know it’s gone.  Your accountant can schedule the payment using your on-line bill pay.  Then you can get out of the headlines and leave me in peace.