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Yorkie-Poo Boo Hoo by guest blogger Bella Anne in Texas

My husband and I recently celebrated the arrival of our third grandchild.  A beautiful and healthy baby girl! For those of you that don’t know me, I am a 30 year old mother of 2, step-mother of 4, and grandmother by marriage to 3. No, I am not reincarnating the spirit of the late Anna Nicole Smith and my husband is not a 900 year old millionaire that likes blonde hair and big boobs…..ok, ok, well at least he’s not 900. He had his first child at the mature age of 16 (for you young readers out there this is not a good example, your life will be horrendous, difficult, and all your hopes and dreams will be shattered).  We are your typical all American blended family.

While visiting the new bundle of joy I was in awe of her beauty and purity. What a special gift from God! I can appreciate her more because as I am holding her I realize she can be handed back to her parents if she gives the slightest whimper.  I have zero responsibility to them!  No 2AM feedings, diaper duty or babysitting for me! They can call their real mom! I have done my time raising tiny tots and very recently I might add. The grandkids can call me by my first name only.….nothing made up like gammie.  I am officially a “Glam-Ma”. 

As my insane and narcissistic story is unfolding in my mind I look up to see my husband watching me hold the baby.  He must have misinterpreted the gleam in my eye for ovulation/raging hormones.  A bead of sweat begins to form above his deer in the headlights stare.  He’s desperately thinking what can snap her out of this dreaded baby induced hypnosis. What is tiny, soft, cute and doesn’t need a college fund?

”Uh Honey, do you want a new puppy?”

“Of course I do!”

Yay me! Who doesn’t love presents!?!

Immediately the online search begins for a new teacup puppy that will love only me. She will sit in my lap and give me kisses.  After weeks of searching, I find her and she is a perfect sweet little teacup yorki-poo that was crazy expensive. My husband assures me he is fine paying for her despite the blow to our stocks/cash flow the last several months but I feel guilty because times are really tough.  I know how smart he is and he wouldn’t allow me to derail our household finances over a dog.  Then I begin to imagine no one having the money to buy her during this wretched recession. She will most likely be abandoned on the side of the road and be picked apart by those big scary black birds. I AM SAVING HER TINY LIFE! He assures me he is just simply happy that I am happy…what a great guy! There is just one problem….did I mention we already have a 10 month old 70 lb golden retriever? 

Our quiet and immaculate home quickly became a circus tent riddled with jealousy and marking ones territory.  The golden retriever repeatedly tries to squash and slowly suffocate the tiny 3 pounder or bats and spins her across the room like a fluffy top.  After 5 weeks I finally conceded. These dogs have officially kicked my a** and I am exhausted. There will be no endless love and happy days in the dog park. These dogs are nuts and I now know I am too for thinking this would actually work!  

The tiny toy wonder has gone to a new and loving family that already has a teacup dog.  I sold her for half the price and excluded the cost for vet bills and tiny dog essentials (like a rhinestone collar and matching copper feeding bowls that she “needed”). She can now run freely without worry of being crushed and has an assortment of tiny rhinestone t-shirts to wear. My husband, for obvious reasons, is not at all impressed with my investment or retention skills. Having undertaken a tremendous financial loss, I am on strict orders not to look at, ask for, or fantasize about owning another pet….EVER…..well at least until the next grandchild is born!